Our guest blogger is Natalie McCreesh aka Pearl, a fashion lecturer, freelance writer and creator of Fashion Pearls of Wisdom. In this post she’ll be talking about tattoos and relationships…
I couldn’t have told you whether my grandfather had a tattoo. No matter the weather he would always wear long trousers and a sleeved shirt, occasionally folding up his cuffs an inch in summer. He passed away when I was 12 years old taking any secrets with him. As I write this there is a gentleman sat across from me on the train, dressed in a manor my grandfather would have seen fit; blue striped shirt, grey slacks, polished Oxfords. His snow white hair putting him at around my grandfather’s generation. As he sat down he slipped off his damp over coat, revealing shirt sleeves rolled up to just below the elbow. Scattering his pale freckled skin a series of small blue tinged tattoos. Now smudged with age it is difficult to make out the designs, a swallow perhaps and an anchor. With a nudge and a disapproving tut from the lady beside him he pushes down the sleeves, with it a knowing eyebrow raise and a quick grin to me. His look said it all, this wasn’t the first time nor would it be the last his wife would plead with him to cover up those tattoos.
This exchange got me thinking about tattoos in relationships. When I was still dating I had a few odd comments, a general consensus that guys didn’t like tattoos on girls – even guys who were tattooed themselves. I had one guy tell me on a first date he wasn’t really bothered about my tattoos so long as I didn’t get any more, needless to say I never did call him again. I’ve also spoken to people both male and female who have admitted they’d rather their partner not be tattooed, or in contrast wish that they were.
After meeting my boyfriend for the first time my mum had said to me ‘you’d best keep this one you might not find another who likes your tattoos’ I’m still not entirely sure if she was joking or not. My mum likes my tattoos, although she thinks I’ve got enough now – not sure how to break the news to her when I get my sleeves done but that’s another story. But she is from a generation filled with tattoo stigma. Before I met my boyfriend’s parents she said I might want to wear something pretty and on the sensible side, hiding the tattoos and toning down the extreme fashion. My boyfriend said the opposite, don’t cover up your tattoos because otherwise they will wonder what on earth we have in common – a university lecturer and a builder (he’s the builder). In the end I wore something in between, just what is normal to wear to go for dinner and didn’t worry about it. Getting a tattoo is a permanent body modification, it’s not like a dodgy jumper you can eventually talk your partner out of wearing – or shrink in the wash. After all they do say love is about compromise, but, for me, someone not loving my tattoos would be deal breaker.